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Living Under the Same Roof: Part III
In Part I and Part II, I explored how moral performance thrives in our hyper-connected world, and how cognitive distortions fuel “righteous” anger. To close the series, I want to shift from spectacle to substance: what we can actually do to restore understanding in the spaces we share.
We’re wired to explain others’ behavior by their character (“she’s careless,” “he’s malicious”) and our own behavior by circumstances (“I was rushed,” “the system failed”). That bias, _the fundamental attribution error, supercharges moral performance. It flattens people into villains and snips away context, making outrage feel justified and dialogue feel pointless.
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Living Under the Same Roof: Part I
There’s a woman standing in a parking spot on the street, holding up her right hand in a “stop” gesture to a driver attempting to park. She’s saving the spot for a friend. In her left hand, she holds her cell phone. The driver, gripping the steering wheel with his right hand, also has a phone raised in his left. They’re filming each other.
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Living Under the Same Roof Part II
In the first part of this series, we examined moral performance and how it contributes to outrage culture.. In this installment, we will take a closer look at that outrage and how it is fueled by cognitive biases and errors.
Fuse, Flame, Fire, and Fallout
We are wired to assign blame. It gives us a sense of control in moments of frustration, as if naming a culprit relieves the tension of not knowing what, or who, to fault. Neuroscience shows that anger is not only emotional, but chemical: it delivers a dopamine surge that feels rewarding, even energizing. Online platforms amplify that surge, because outrage keeps us scrolling, sharing, and arguing. Anger becomes less about truth and more about the payoff of feeling right.
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In a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, 61% of Americans reported feeling stressed when talking to people with opposing political views. That figure alone paints a grim picture of our national dialogue. Faced with discomfort, most people retreat to one of two instinctual responses: confrontation or avoidance. And so, our politics divide.
On one end, we have the loud and combative. The are quick to vilify anyone who challenges their tribe. On the other, the silent and withdrawn. They keep their beliefs close and their conversations safer still.
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The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines non-conformity as “refusal to conform to an established or conventional creed, rule, or practice.” On the surface, this seems straightforward. Non-conformity can be expressed quite simply by beginning a sentence with “I reject…”
Conceptually, non-conformity is often seen as a destructive, or at least disruptive force. It involves the removal or denial of some guiding influence. Yet despite this, non-conformity is frequently celebrated as the engine of social progress. Revolutionary figures in the 18th century, such as those who catalyzed the American and French revolutions, were seen as non-conformists. In the 20th century, Martin Luther King Jr., widely regarded as a non-conformist, helped drive transformative social change. History offers no shortage of examples in which individuals stepped outside the bounds of accepted norms, sparking positive and necessary change.
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Imagine you’re at a grocery store, rushing to pick up a few things on your way home from work.
You roll your cart down the frozen food aisle, thinking it might be a good idea to grab something quick and easy for dinner. As you weigh your options among the overpriced microwave meals, you notice a woman slowly pushing her cart nearby. She’s just disconnected from a phone call and looks deeply troubled.
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