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Bias, Blame, and Outrage Culture: Why Reflection Matters More Than Being Right
Living Under the Same Roof Part II
In the first part of this series, we examined moral performance and how it contributes to outrage culture.. In this installment, we will take a closer look at that outrage and how it is fueled by cognitive biases and errors.
Fuse, Flame, Fire, and Fallout
We are wired to assign blame. It gives us a sense of control in moments of frustration, as if naming a culprit relieves the tension of not knowing what, or who, to fault. Neuroscience shows that anger is not only emotional, but chemical: it delivers a dopamine surge that feels rewarding, even energizing. Online platforms amplify that surge, because outrage keeps us scrolling, sharing, and arguing. Anger becomes less about truth and more about the payoff of feeling right.
Devil's Tower
I pulled into the visitor’s parking lot at Devil’s Tower National Monument and noticed there were only a couple of spaces left. A small car followed behind me as I made my way toward the open spots. We both pulled in. Full house.
The Tower loomed overhead, its ancient form quietly transcending and silencing the stream of thoughts running through my mind.
I creaked out of the van, my legs tingling in that relieved, grateful way they do after a long drive. The woman from the car beside me stepped out too. We both stretched, eyes drawn upward to the Tower. We exchanged a brief smile; a shared nod of luck at having found parking in the nick of time.
When Rest Works Harder
I tend to have a lot of projects going on at once. I bustle from one to another, stopping only for the briefest of breaks. Last week, I stayed up far too late finishing a project, and the next day I was tired. And, if I’m being honest, a little cranky.
Still, I was determined to squeeze as much work as possible into the day. I huffed around, drank some coffee, and dove back in.
Between the Shouting and The Silence
In a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, 61% of Americans reported feeling stressed when talking to people with opposing political views. That figure alone paints a grim picture of our national dialogue. Faced with discomfort, most people retreat to one of two instinctual responses: confrontation or avoidance. And so, our politics divide.
On one end, we have the loud and combative. The are quick to vilify anyone who challenges their tribe. On the other, the silent and withdrawn. They keep their beliefs close and their conversations safer still.
Working Through Boundary Challenges
When Boundaries Don’t Go as Planned
Setting boundaries is one thing. Holding them, especially when others push back, is where most people stumble. In our last post, we explored how to identify your needs and communicate them clearly. But even when you do everything “right,” resistance often follows.
This article explores what to do after you’ve set a boundary. Managing guilt, handling pushback, and reinforcing your limits without burning bridges. Because setting boundaries isn’t a one-time act. It’s a skill and a practice.
Setting Boundaries That Work
When “Nice” Backfires
Let’s say you have a coworker who always stops by your office to chat. Sometimes it’s a welcome break. But more often, it derails your focus and puts you behind on your work. You never say anything about it. You don’t want to hurt their feelings.
So you keep smiling, nodding, and letting the conversation go on. Meanwhile, your to-do list grows longer. Anxiety starts to creep in. You feel frustrated, even resentful. Over time, those feelings build up until they explode. And not always where or how you expect.
The Last Run
I stood in the breakfast room of a weathered motel in Amarillo, waiting impatiently for the coffee maker to finish its cycle. I had no real schedule that day, no urgent destination; just a restless need to move. This was the return leg of a cross-country trip, a journey that had started as a favor to a family member and turned into a chance to explore before heading home to work and routine.
Beyond Protest
The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines non-conformity as “refusal to conform to an established or conventional creed, rule, or practice.” On the surface, this seems straightforward. Non-conformity can be expressed quite simply by beginning a sentence with “I reject…”
Conceptually, non-conformity is often seen as a destructive, or at least disruptive force. It involves the removal or denial of some guiding influence. Yet despite this, non-conformity is frequently celebrated as the engine of social progress. Revolutionary figures in the 18th century, such as those who catalyzed the American and French revolutions, were seen as non-conformists. In the 20th century, Martin Luther King Jr., widely regarded as a non-conformist, helped drive transformative social change. History offers no shortage of examples in which individuals stepped outside the bounds of accepted norms, sparking positive and necessary change.
Why the Law of Attraction Has It Backwards
You’ve probably heard of the law of attraction, the idea that whatever you focus on intensely enough will eventually show up in your life. Want to be rich? Visualize the money. Want your dream home? Picture it, believe it, and the universe will supposedly handle the rest.
This law of attraction critique isn’t about tearing down optimism or mocking hope. It’s about taking a closer look at what this philosophy promises — and what it quietly demands in return. There’s value in thinking positively. But there’s also danger in mistaking thoughts for guarantees.
Sorting Medications
At the beginning of the week, I found myself staring at a dozen bottles of medication. They weren’t mine. They belonged to my mother, who had moved in with us about two years ago. Her dementia had been progressing steadily, and each week brought small but unmistakable changes.
Some days were good. She’d pass the time reminiscing, reading, or watching for deer out the window. Other days were harder. On those days, she became painfully aware of what she was losing; her memory, her independence. And her tears came easily. It was heartbreaking to watch, especially knowing we couldn’t fix it. We had to learn, slowly and painfully, to simply be there with her. Acceptance didn’t come quickly. It came through shared tears and quiet moments.