Quiet Frontier

The Burden of Freedom: The Pressure of Endless Options

Video (10:03): Choice overload can turn freedom into a burden, and how the constant pressure to pick the “right” option chips away at our time, energy, and peace of mind. Watch the video above, and if it resonates, consider subscribing for more Quiet Frontier reflections.

Transcript

00:00:07 We’re living during a time when we have

00:00:09 almost endless choices and possibilities.

00:00:13 We have more access to information, more

00:00:18 access to products, more access to things

00:00:24 to choose for entertainment than at any

00:00:28 time in history. And yet we’re stressed

00:00:32 out. We’re unhappy. We’re constantly

00:00:35 feeling the pressure. Even something as

00:00:40 simple as watching TV, some nights after I

00:00:42 get done working, I get done and I just

00:00:45 want to sit down, relax, and watch

00:00:48 something on TV, just unwind a little bit.

00:00:51 So I’ll turn the TV on and the next thing

00:00:53 I know, I’m scrolling. And I’m scrolling.

00:00:56 Five minutes go by. Ten minutes go by. I

00:00:59 haven’t made a decision. I’m getting more

00:01:02 stressed out instead of calmer and more

00:01:04 relaxed. So the very thing that I was

00:01:07 going to do to help me just to chill out

00:01:09 and relax is now creating more stress.

00:01:13 It’s kind of like watching TVs become this

00:01:16 decision that requires some kind of

00:01:19 strategy. And that kind of made me wonder.

00:01:22 We now have more freedom than ever before.

00:01:25 But is that freedom becoming surprisingly

00:01:29 heavy for us? A lot of the self-help books

00:01:33 that are out there, they don’t really

00:01:36 help. Everywhere we look, we get the same

00:01:38 message. You can be anything. You can do

00:01:42 anything. You have unlimited choices,

00:01:45 unlimited potential. But the reality of

00:01:49 real life is that we have limits. We have

00:01:52 limited time. We have limited energy. We

00:01:56 have limited attentions. And the more

00:01:59 options that we have and the more time we

00:02:02 spend trying to choose from those options,

00:02:05 the more pressure we start to feel to

00:02:10 choose the best one, the one that’s going

00:02:14 to be most efficient, most productive,

00:02:16 most relaxing, most entertaining, the most

00:02:19 obvious on social networks. Whatever the

00:02:24 case may be, we feel that pressure. So

00:02:28 instead of obligation, or instead of

00:02:31 opportunity, rather, we start to feel

00:02:34 obligation. Instead of enjoyment, we start

00:02:37 to feel stress. I’ve spent weeks, even

00:02:42 months, trying to find the best piece of

00:02:45 software to get my work done. Trying to

00:02:49 find the fastest one, trying to find the

00:02:51 cleanest operating one, the one that the

00:02:54 power users pick to use. What I found out,

00:02:58 they all do the job. But there’s always

00:03:01 some video or some post out there

00:03:04 insisting that one is better than another.

00:03:08 And I’ll fall right into that decision

00:03:10 trap. Oh, geez, maybe I didn’t get the

00:03:13 best one. Psychologists talk about two

00:03:16 types of decision makers. There’s

00:03:17 maximizers. They’re the people who want to

00:03:20 make the best choice. And the satisfacers,

00:03:24 people who want a good enough choice. I’m

00:03:26 not sure if that’s pronounced right.

00:03:28 Satisificers, satisficers. Not sure how to

00:03:30 say that. But we’ll go with satisificers.

00:03:33 Just because I like the way it sounds. So

00:03:36 the maximizers, they end up worrying all

00:03:39 the time about the choices they didn’t

00:03:40 pick. They scan reviews. They compare

00:03:43 options endlessly, one after another. And

00:03:47 then even after the choice, they feel this

00:03:50 sense of anxiety that maybe they made the

00:03:53 wrong choice. And then social comparison

00:03:56 comes into play. And that makes it even

00:03:58 worse. There’s always someone online who

00:04:01 got a better deal, found a better show,

00:04:04 made a better life choice. Our decisions

00:04:07 in the social media context, they become a

00:04:11 contest. And we never even agreed to enter

00:04:14 it. So instead of moving forward, we end

00:04:17 up freezing. We call this analysis

00:04:21 paralysis. But in reality, it’s fear. It’s

00:04:25 fear wearing a logical disguise. Even

00:04:29 something really simple can be part of

00:04:33 that indecision overwhelm. And a good

00:04:35 example of that, lately, I’ve been getting

00:04:38 really annoyed at my mouse. The scroll

00:04:41 wheel is way too sensitive. I’ll try to

00:04:44 scroll, and it starts to paste things that

00:04:47 I copied a couple hours ago. And I’ve

00:04:49 ruined entire paragraphs doing that. So I

00:04:53 did what everybody does in our modern

00:04:55 world. I went to Amazon. I did a search.

00:04:59 Thousands of mice. Sleek buttons. RGB

00:05:03 lights. Ultra precision marketing. They

00:05:08 all look different. But really, when you

00:05:11 come right down to the core of the issue,

00:05:13 they’re all the same tool. So as I’m

00:05:17 scrolling through these mice, I felt that

00:05:20 old familiar pressure. Which one is the

00:05:22 right choice? Then I stopped and asked

00:05:25 myself, what’s the real problem here? I

00:05:29 didn’t need a new mouse. I either needed

00:05:31 to adjust a setting, or I needed to be

00:05:35 more mindful when I’m scrolling, so I

00:05:37 don’t press that button. The simple

00:05:39 solution wasn’t a new mouse. It was to use

00:05:42 the one I already had and quit pressing so

00:05:45 hard on the scroll wheel. Simple enough,

00:05:48 right? Reframing the situation that way

00:05:51 immediately reduced the anxiety and the

00:05:53 pressure. It wasn’t about finding a

00:05:56 perfect option. It was about solving the

00:05:59 actual problem. There’s a really quiet

00:06:03 fear beneath all this. If I choose this,

00:06:06 what if something better exists? We want

00:06:10 to maximize every outcome. But maximizing

00:06:13 keeps us from being present. We end up

00:06:17 comparing our choices to all the imaginary

00:06:21 choices that we didn’t make. And it

00:06:24 affects everything. It affects our

00:06:26 entertainment, our purchases, our careers,

00:06:30 our relationships. It even affects who we

00:06:34 think we should be. Our very identities

00:06:36 are affected by this. Freedom, the freedom

00:06:39 to choose, the endless options. It turns

00:06:43 into pressure. Our abundance becomes a

00:06:47 burden. So I’ve been trying something

00:06:50 different. Simple, but powerful enough. I

00:06:55 ask myself a question. What do I actually

00:06:58 want right now? Not what’s popular. Not

00:07:02 what someone else says is the best. Not

00:07:05 what some algorithm is pushing at me. Not

00:07:08 what’s trending. Not what’s being

00:07:10 recommended. Not what fits my life today.

00:07:14 In this moment. When I’ve started to make

00:07:18 decisions that way, I’ve felt wider, more

00:07:24 grounded, and more satisfied. So sometimes

00:07:29 that means choosing quickly. And just

00:07:32 letting myself enjoy the choice. Sometimes

00:07:35 it means using the tools that feel

00:07:37 comfortable. Not the ones that get the

00:07:39 most upvotes. Sometimes it means accepting

00:07:43 that good enough is actually great. If it

00:07:47 gives me peace of mind. And that’s the

00:07:49 kind of freedom that we really don’t talk

00:07:52 about enough. We can love having all the

00:07:57 possibilities and choices. The endless

00:08:00 freedoms that come from endless choices.

00:08:04 Without living our lives in pursuit of the

00:08:07 perfect one all the time. Maybe real

00:08:10 freedom isn’t endless options. Maybe it’s

00:08:15 about focusing on what’s right in front of

00:08:16 us. And choosing with intention. Freedom

00:08:20 doesn’t disappear when we limit our

00:08:22 options. Sometimes that’s when it finally

00:08:25 becomes visible. Thanks for choosing to

00:08:30 spend a bit of your attention today here

00:08:33 with me. If any of this sounds familiar to

00:08:37 you, you’re not alone. Feel free to stick

00:08:40 around. Or for some more quiet reflections

00:08:43 on topics such as this. From someone who

00:08:47 is learning to make choices without

00:08:49 needing to be perfect. Thanks so much.