Quiet Frontier

When Being Good Gives Us Permission to Be Bad

Video (12:36): Have you ever noticed how doing something virtuous can make it easier to justify doing something less virtuous later?This video explores the psychological concept of moral licensing, or the ‘virtue trap.’ Moral licensing occurs when we treat good behavior almost like a form of credit, and let past virtues excuse future lapses in judgment.

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Transcript

00:00:00 let’s say you’ve been trying really hard to make some kind of positive change in your life

00:00:11 maybe it’s eating healthier so it’s one o’clock in the afternoon on a friday and you just had

00:00:17 this really healthy salad for lunch and it tasted like nothing but it made you feel like a nutrition

00:00:23 guru and as you finished that last leaf a thought kind of entered your mind and it wasn’t a random

00:00:30 thought it was really an entitlement and you told yourself i was so good at lunch that i basically

00:00:38 earned an entire pizza for dinner in your head that salad created kind of a moral credit

00:00:47 you deposited enough fiber into your system to balance out an entire extra large stuffed crust

00:00:56 it sounds kind of ridiculous when i say it like that but we do this with a lot more than just food

00:01:05 we do it with our productivity our relationships and even our ethics we treat morality like a currency

00:01:14 kind of like a bank account where every good deed is a deposit and every bad impulse is a withdrawal

00:01:22 the problem is we’re constantly trying to overdraw our accounts we convince ourselves that our past

00:01:31 virtues have given us some kind of get out of jail free card and that’ll that’s going to take care of

00:01:38 all of our future mistakes so today we’re going to be taking a look at the psychological glitch

00:01:44 that’s known as moral licensing we’re going to explore why your good intentions might actually be the

00:01:52 very thing providing you with the permission slip you need to act contrary to your values

00:01:58 and how you can stop letting past virtues become future excuses at some point in our development

00:02:08 most of us develop this invisible internal ledger it’s kind of a subconscious accounting system

00:02:16 that tracks our goodness in psychology it’s called moral licensing it’s when doing something right

00:02:25 or virtuous provides us with a psychological sense of equilibrium and that then gives us the license to

00:02:35 deviate from our values later on now think about how our brains view virtue we often talk about character like

00:02:46 it’s a solid unchanging foundation kind of like the bedrock of a house but in reality our subconscious

00:02:56 treats virtue like currency it’s something that you can spend when you complete a difficult task at work

00:03:04 or you spend your saturday volunteering your brain doesn’t just say yeah that was a really nice thing to do

00:03:12 instead it says balance updated 50 virtue points to the plus

00:03:18 once those points are in the account they become available for spending

00:03:24 that’s why we tend not to view virtue as a consistent character trait that we should uphold

00:03:33 but as a stockpile of credits that we can use to justify any kind of indulgence

00:03:39 any lapse in judgment or even moments of blatant selfishness

00:03:45 we aren’t trying to be bad

00:03:48 we just feel like we’ve built up enough good

00:03:52 to cover the cost of being a little less good

00:03:56 but this way of thinking it creates a massive flaw

00:04:01 in our moral compass

00:04:03 it makes morality transactional

00:04:06 rather than transformational

00:04:08 the danger of this internal ledger gets a lot more pronounced

00:04:12 when we move from private habits

00:04:16 to public displays of morality

00:04:18 this is the virtue trap

00:04:21 in the modern age

00:04:23 much of our moral signaling

00:04:26 happens in public

00:04:28 on social media

00:04:29 through eco-friendly purchases

00:04:32 or by participating in various causes

00:04:35 now these actions

00:04:38 they could be genuinely positive

00:04:39 but they can also be a prime breeding ground

00:04:43 for moral licensing

00:04:44 when you post the perfectly worded

00:04:48 highly empathetic thread

00:04:50 about some global crisis

00:04:53 or when you proudly display

00:04:56 your reusable ethically sourced tote bag

00:04:59 you’re essentially making a huge deposit

00:05:03 into your invisible ledger

00:05:04 you’ve signaled to yourself

00:05:07 and to the whole world

00:05:08 you’re a good person

00:05:10 and once that identity’s been solidified

00:05:14 the brain feels a strange sense of safety

00:05:18 it thinks

00:05:19 okay, I’ve already established my virtue

00:05:22 therefore

00:05:23 I don’t need to be as vigilant

00:05:26 about my other behaviors now

00:05:28 this leads directly into something called

00:05:33 the halo effect

00:05:34 that’s a cognitive bias

00:05:37 where our perception of one positive trait

00:05:41 influences our perception of our entire character

00:05:44 and this applies to others as well

00:05:47 if we see ourselves or other people

00:05:49 performing a highly visible good act

00:05:54 that halo starts to shine really brightly

00:05:57 so much so

00:05:59 that it blinds us to subsequent lapses

00:06:02 we become a lot less likely to notice

00:06:05 or even very likely to excuse

00:06:08 the selfish or unethical choices we make

00:06:12 because the halo tells us

00:06:14 that we’re fundamentally incapable

00:06:16 of making those choices

00:06:18 and all this happens

00:06:20 entirely below our conscious awareness

00:06:24 I mean, you don’t wake up and decide

00:06:26 I’m going to be a jerk today

00:06:28 because I donated to charity yesterday

00:06:30 instead

00:06:32 your internal scorecard

00:06:35 silently adjusts

00:06:38 and you feel

00:06:39 this unearned sense of entitlement

00:06:41 to indulge

00:06:43 in much less noble behaviors

00:06:45 and again

00:06:47 this is entirely

00:06:48 below the conscious level

00:06:50 so what are the actual costs

00:06:54 of this permission slip culture

00:06:56 I mean, it’s not just about

00:06:58 extra calories from pizza

00:07:00 it goes a lot deeper

00:07:02 we see these permission slips

00:07:05 everywhere in our daily lives

00:07:07 someone might think to themselves

00:07:09 oh, I worked a really tough

00:07:11 12-hour shift today

00:07:12 so I can completely skip my gym session

00:07:15 and I can eat junk food now

00:07:17 or they might say

00:07:19 I was really patient with my kids

00:07:21 all morning this morning

00:07:22 so I deserve to snap out

00:07:25 at my spouse tonight

00:07:26 these small individual lapses

00:07:30 eventually scale

00:07:32 into much bigger

00:07:35 and more destructive patterns

00:07:37 the ultimate danger though

00:07:40 is when our moral bank account

00:07:43 hits zero

00:07:44 when we feel we’ve

00:07:46 over-contributed

00:07:48 to society

00:07:49 or to our families

00:07:51 we can enter a period

00:07:52 of complete moral burnout

00:07:54 we start looking at

00:07:56 our good deeds

00:07:57 not really as part of

00:07:59 who we are

00:08:00 but as debts

00:08:01 that society

00:08:02 or our loved ones

00:08:04 owe to us

00:08:05 and once you start feeling

00:08:07 like the world owes you something

00:08:09 because you’ve been good

00:08:10 true integrity

00:08:12 becomes completely impossible

00:08:14 so to stop treating

00:08:17 our character

00:08:17 like a fluctuating

00:08:18 stock market

00:08:19 the first step

00:08:21 is awareness

00:08:22 you have to identify

00:08:23 what your specific triggers are

00:08:25 the next time you feel

00:08:27 that sudden surge

00:08:28 of entitlement

00:08:29 that

00:08:30 I’ve earned this

00:08:31 feeling

00:08:32 take a pause

00:08:33 ask yourself

00:08:34 am I justifying

00:08:36 a lapse in my values

00:08:37 based on

00:08:39 a previous win

00:08:40 just catch yourself

00:08:42 in the act

00:08:43 of this accounting

00:08:44 the real shift

00:08:45 actually occurs

00:08:47 though

00:08:47 when you move

00:08:49 from points

00:08:50 based living

00:08:51 to values

00:08:52 based living

00:08:53 points based living

00:08:55 is transactional

00:08:56 it’s kind of like

00:08:57 I did X

00:08:58 so now I can do Y

00:08:59 it’s an endless loop

00:09:00 of debits and credits

00:09:01 that keeps you

00:09:03 tethered

00:09:04 to your ego

00:09:05 values based living

00:09:08 is about identity

00:09:10 with values based living

00:09:13 you don’t eat a salad

00:09:15 because you want

00:09:15 to earn a pizza

00:09:16 you eat a salad

00:09:18 because you value

00:09:19 your health

00:09:20 you aren’t patient

00:09:22 with your partner

00:09:23 because you’re building

00:09:24 up credit

00:09:24 for some future argument

00:09:26 you’re patient

00:09:28 because you value

00:09:29 connection

00:09:30 and you value

00:09:31 respect

00:09:32 when your actions

00:09:35 are rooted

00:09:35 in consistent values

00:09:37 the concept

00:09:38 of a deposit

00:09:39 disappears

00:09:40 there’s no ledger

00:09:42 to balance

00:09:43 because there’s no

00:09:44 transaction

00:09:44 taking place

00:09:45 you aren’t performing

00:09:47 good deeds

00:09:48 to buy permission

00:09:49 you’re acting

00:09:51 in alignment

00:09:52 with who you’ve

00:09:53 decided to be

00:09:54 long-term personal

00:09:56 growth requires

00:09:57 that we

00:09:58 completely dismantle

00:10:00 that internal ledger

00:10:01 true integrity

00:10:03 isn’t about

00:10:04 having a high balance

00:10:05 in a moral account

00:10:07 it’s about

00:10:08 the stability

00:10:09 of your character

00:10:10 when no one’s

00:10:11 watching

00:10:11 and when there’s

00:10:13 nothing to be gained

00:10:14 it’s about

00:10:15 moving away

00:10:16 from a fluctuating

00:10:17 balance

00:10:18 of good

00:10:19 and bad deeds

00:10:20 and toward

00:10:22 an identity

00:10:23 rooted

00:10:24 in consistency

00:10:26 and truth

00:10:27 to your values

00:10:28 if we treat

00:10:31 morality

00:10:32 as a currency

00:10:33 we’ll always be

00:10:34 looking for ways

00:10:35 to spend it

00:10:36 we’ll always be

00:10:37 looking for that

00:10:38 loophole

00:10:38 the excuse

00:10:39 or the permission

00:10:40 slip

00:10:41 but if we view

00:10:43 our values

00:10:44 as our identity

00:10:45 there’s no way

00:10:47 to cheat the system

00:10:48 because the system

00:10:49 is us

00:10:50 so here’s my

00:10:51 challenge for you

00:10:52 for this week

00:10:53 take a look

00:10:54 at your hidden

00:10:55 ledgers

00:10:55 are you using

00:10:57 recent successes

00:10:58 to justify

00:10:59 a current lapse

00:11:01 are you treating

00:11:02 your kindness

00:11:03 as a bribe

00:11:04 for future

00:11:05 selfishness

00:11:06 stop counting

00:11:07 your points

00:11:08 start living

00:11:09 your values

00:11:10 because the only

00:11:12 way

00:11:12 to truly escape

00:11:14 the virtue trap

00:11:15 is to refuse

00:11:17 to play the game

00:11:18 and if that idea

00:11:19 resonates with you

00:11:21 subscribe

00:11:21 we’ll keep exploring

00:11:24 what it means

00:11:25 to live with purpose

00:11:26 meaning

00:11:27 and authenticity

00:11:28 in a world

00:11:29 that’s constantly

00:11:30 changing

00:11:30 we don’t have to

00:11:32 change who we are

00:11:33 to keep up

00:11:34 thanks for watching

00:11:36 take good care

00:11:38 winners and losers

00:11:42 heroes and fiends

00:11:46 fighting all the rainbows

00:11:50 afraid of their dreams

00:11:54 nothing can matter

00:11:58 when the smoke never clears

00:12:02 love never lasts long

00:12:06 when you’re counting

00:12:08 your tears